Hey, sorry i missed your call. I guess i had just fallen asleep and my phone was stuck in my bed!Thanks for the post-hope you have a good day! I had this as a comment but then deleted it. I decided to just changed it to a post.Call Me-
Bye love you

hey! I'm back in Odessa now...just wanted to say hi to you! I guess i'll talk to you Later! BYE
J. Renae

Enough said...

Hey ...Jalesa did my Great colors and stuff on my blog...BYE

hey I'M watchin tv right now and talking to jalesa...i am feeling sleeping right now and i have a refrigerator in my room... um i really love her...i do and i proved tht to her on wed. nite/ thurs. morning... well i am out for now!

More Than Words by Extreme

Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cause I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words
Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cause I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words

wedding showers are silly

When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries
And look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.
-Shakespeare

music makes me happy. listen to these

The Early November - Come Back.
Copeland - Priceless
The Lyndsay Diaries - Whispers of a long Goodbye
Trapt - Stories
Acceptance - Permanent
Brand New - Am I wrong
Madison - Right Outside
Matchbook Romance - Tiger Lily
Moneen - Are we really happy with who we are right now?

________________________________________________


yeah i'm bored

Hey lush have fun, it's the weekend.

There's no reason to be down this much. Life has more to it than just having fun.

I miss Puerto Rican Eddie.

I'm going to Andrews this weekend. But something is gonna be different this time. I'm not staying with christian or roberts or any of those guys. I'm staying at Jalesa's house. This is going to be a very interesting experience. I mean her parents are nice and stuff. I've never not gotten along with them. But there's just something about 'em, I don't know why but I'm always nervous around. It's going to be really fun I'm sure, just different, very very different.

sleeping is fun, it has become my new past time. I think I'll sleep for like 7 hours tonight, I'm looking forward to it.

School is really dumb. It's just stupid. I'm all for education, we need to be an educated society. But the way school try to do it is not very effective. Now college, is when you actually do learn something, not just learning random facts but the things that will help you in the career you want to pursue. But to be able to get into college you have to make good grades in high school. Okay, that makes sense, right? Yeah, except for the grades you get in high school. Like in my English class. I had to make a pocket for an imaginary character. This is almost acceptable because it based on a piece of literature that we read. But, the fact that I made an eighty on my outline because I double spaced is completely absurd. A "b" because of double spacing. Now this "b" is averaged into my grade that is to get me into college. And I didn't get this grade because I didn't know a certain part of English. So my grade for English that colleges looked at would be low because I double spaced not because I didn't know the subject matter. A complete waste of my time and effort. Not to mention the project helped not one person in any way understand the literature, it was basically just work for us to do. If we have to do work we sure as hell better do something that will help us prepare for college. And just about everything else in school is taught based on a test. Kids learn the stuff for the test, then don't ever remember it. Because they didn't actually learn it, they just memorized it. I don't know why I'm even writing this, probly because I have nothing else to do...at all. I'm stupid.

Samiam is a good band...download some of their stuff.

YAY!!!!!!!! Tickets are super fun...and yes by the way there is a curfew in Wolfforth Texas.

HEY!!!! It's me again. Well.... actually I have to tell you something ... It's Jalesa but besides that It's me..... well Ryan is not goin to do this today or for now.... I am.. I'm more than bored and this is just something i like to do just to PISS Ryan off... it's an inside joke... I have cheerleading tomorrow in the morning.. I'm about tired of all that crap... it's pointless i love pep rally's and football games that we travel on.... other than that it sux.... they are jerks and so on... welll i'm now tired of this so.... TOOTLES..... Bye
I Love MARCUM !!!!

Yeah....Well I've decided I can't just take things for granted any more. The past few days or so showed me that Jalesa and I aren't permanent, I had taken that for granted way too much. The best thing in my life I wasn't even thankful for...But now I realize how thankful and lucky I am to have her...I can't let that happen to me or us again.

Well I haven't posted anything of much late. So I think I'm going to now. I'm bored and yeah, I'm listening to Madison, they're pretty sweet. Well this last weekend has been very interesting. It started off really freaking awesome. Jalesa came down for homecoming. We went out to eat at TGI Fridays before the game. The game was alright, I don't think she had much fun. I wouldn't either not really knowing anyone. Yeah, we rented super Mario bros, that wasn't the best movie, rather a disgrace to Nintendo. But oh well. I had my basketball tournament on Saturday. Some of it was fun. I was the most physically exhausted then I had ever been in my life. Way to many games in a short amount of time. Plus we just didn't do very good. I don't know if Jalesa had very much fun, the team from Andrews was there so that was cool. That night, after we took showers, we went to the drive in movie. Grease was showing, that was cool because she really likes that movie. Then dickey Roberts, that was a good movie. That was fun. Sunday, we went to church, you know how I feel about my church...Yeah....Then mall....Trying on shoes....That was....Fun....Kind....I was just glad to be with her...Yeah...Then I had to drive her to seagraves....That's always hard....Yeah.....That night...I don't know how to explain this part...I know some of you know what happened....Well, I'm just not going to say much about that....But I'm just glad everything worked out....She knew I still loved her even if she thought I was mad, and I knew she still loved me. Even though I didn't understand her purposes...But everything is great again....Sorry for boring you completely to death...But that was like the best weekend I've had in a good long time.

I've got a guest-book now so please sign it ever so kindly.

3 words to describe how i feel: what the hell!?!?!?!?

I've added some new links, good bands mostly. check em out

I can't stand this, I don't want to do this any more. Any of it.

Jalesa is coming this weekend. Super fun times. I have something to look forward to.... for once.

Peter Griffen is god, and cooler than your mom.

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FiNch

Words can't say anything right now

Well, right now I don't even want to be doing this, but I realized I don't have anything else to do. School is the same everyday so I find myself just kind of thinking. Like today I was in French and I looked down at my watch and it was a little after 11. Then I was thinking, that's 3rd period in Andrews, that means Jalesa is in Mr. Kimbell's class. I was supposed to be in that class. When you are sitting one place doing one thing, it's hard to imagine that a hundred miles away something different is going on at the same time. I know sounds stupid but I was bored. I mean I knew where she was, what subject it was, and when she would be leaving that class. But sitting there thinking about it actually being a reality to her but not me, just made me think. It's weird how many different things and how many people's lives are going on around us and how oblivious we are. I mean there's no way to know really, but its just weird to think there are 6 billion other people doing something at the same instance. I don't think saying all of this really has a point, but I was bored then, and I'm bored now so....This is the result

Don't ever get your hopes up very high, they'll get shot right back down.

DALLAS PUBLIC LIBRARY
Texas Center for the Book
Letters About Literature Contest 2000
Level One Winner
Christian Wallace
Andrews Middle School, Andrews, Texas


Dear Mr. Eure,

On October 7th of this year, I turned twelve-years-old, but I was only six when my grandmother started reading The Red Wings of Christmas to me. Six years ago, has it been that long? It seems like just yesterday that I was listening to your book while my grandmother’s sweet voice brought to life the characters and events.

Your book moves me to tears at the sight of it. Even now, as I write this essay, I am close to weeping. Why, you ask? Because my grandmother only got to Chapter 10 before leukemia took her meaningful life. The bookmark she put in the book on page 57 is still there. Each time I get a glimpse of it, a flood of tears tries to gush out of my eyes.

The protagonist, Albert, was, at the time, in no way connected to my life. We were in two different boats; me being from a wealthy and close-knit family and he being a poor orphan with no one in the world that cared about him after Tezzy died. His troubles began at age one and mine at six-years-old. He started with his being washed off the boat and mine with my grandmother being confined to the hospital. Both of our sorrowful circumstances got worse. Albert’s friend died and my grandmother passed away leaving us both depressed and lonely.

"As quickly as the storm appeared, it was gone." Albert found his way into Santa’s sack and I went on with life. Mr. Eure, I did not even consider reading your glorious book for two years. Then, near Christmas time, I found your book among the other holiday keepsakes. I slowly picked it up, my mind racing with the memories of my deceased Grandmother. She had meant so much to me. Then, I began to remember the beautiful illustrations with their vibrant colors and all of your unforgettable characters. I went to the page where we had left off and began reading….I read all of it that same night, the whole time tears steadily rolling down my cheeks.

It wasn’t easy reading and I had trouble getting into your book at first because my mind was pulsing with many tearful memories. As I read on, however, I became so engrossed by the plot that it was as if I was an observer of the entire story right beside Albert and the toys as he battled the Grabbies. I could visualize, in my head, everything that you had put on paper. Then, when Albert triumphed over evil and found his long lost family, I was overjoyed at how well the book ended. I thoroughly enjoyed every minute that I had reading it with my grandmother and by myself. Albert got a family and history story, a warm ending, so did I! That year my granddad married again. Now, he and my new grandmother are a joyous couple whom everyone, including me, deeply love.

Thank you! Thank you for writing this book. I will never forget it. I am honored to have read such a classic work of literature.

God bless you,

Christian Wallace




/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/Christian - You are a horrible horrible human being. Thats some funny stuff.

Hello again, you know whats funny yet pretty cool, The Dance of Eternity by Dream Theater, you should download it. School sucks some big ones. I'm already completly sick of it. My English teacher is the most anal creature I've ever encountered. It gayer that Stewart Smally. I just totally despise that woman, horrid beast that she is. Giving gay projects, just being in a pissy mood, if aint to her demands your life is in jeopardy. Just horrible things might happen.

My new youth pastor is freaking awesome, I like him a lot. But those immature, annoying, disrespectful little brats of a youth group i have don't shut the hell up I'm gonna break me some noses. I mean this morning was absolutly rediculous, you have no idea. I don't even have words to express how horrible this children are, and it isn't just the junior high. The hight schoolers are some of the worst, It's just terrible.

..and for a moment remembered how it felt to have no one understand that theres this dream and their not part of it....
-the ataris

Samedi

My hands through your hair
Your arms around my waist
The touch of your lips
Why should this kiss, this night have to end
Can't take my eyes from your beautiful gaze
Won't let go of your sweet soft hand
We hold each other, I look at the stars
Forever this moment, this kiss will be ours
-me
I love you babe.

Dreaming?....What's gonig on?

Yes.... Ryan did just get his car about an hour ago. Yes it is fun. It's a used '03 Saturn Vue, nice silver color. Super fun times for Ryan. I am exhilerated.

wow, I don't think i've used this thing since before school started. I guess I find no reason to most of the time. Because it is rather pointless isn't it. Oh well....I guess school is going okay, school is school no matter which school you go to. Just different people. I'll make a longer entry later...

Yeah this weekend ................ I had fun with Jalesa at Rock the Desert. I'll probably call her later....

yeah this weekend was fun as all hell............now I'm back down...

crap....I really want to talk to Jalesa or Christian right now. But nope I can't, damn this is stupid. There is no reason why I shouldn't be able to. I kind of don't like blaming my dad for this, but man he pissis me off. I should be there now. I SHOULD! sorry, i just made a post, i thought i was done venting. but i'll go on a little bit more. At first I was really freaking mad at my dad. Then I just started feeling sorry for myself. Now, I'm just really freaking mad. Really really mad. The level of me being pissed now is a very high level of pissy, if that made sense. And what makes me even more mad, is the fact that there is absolutly nothing that I can do about it, nothing. I basically have no control over the things that happen in my life. It's all my parents. That was great untill about a year or 2 ago. Now I want to make my own decissions. Its amazing how much control over my life they have. I never really noticed it untill lately. And granted, parents should have control up until a certain point. The Indians had it straight. 13, 14 or so, you develope into your own person. I am my own person now, and I don't like what my parents want me to be anymore. The more I think about this the more angry I become. The more angry I become the more I want to do something about it. But there is nothing I can do. GAH!!! What am I supposed to do? I should just conform and do what I am "supposed" to do. But damn it I don't want to. NO. Some people might think of me a lot different after reading all my posts. But this is how I am now. This is me, I have changed a whole lot in the course of this last year or so. Maybe for worse, maybe for better. But I am what I am. I don't want to be something that I'm not just to make people happy. Now I'm not going to put on an act to make people unhappy. A lot of people do this. You know, like goths. I think they put on this act/gimic just so they'll be different. I'm just going to follow my heart and think how i think, do what I do. If this makes me different or not, its just me. I don't know if that made any sense. I don't think it did. Its hard for me to put my thought process into words sometimes. I guess I'm done for now. I'll call Jalesa tonight and make all this harder on myself. But what can I do?

School started today...I'm not there. Well in Andrews anyway. Okay, now this is definatly a reality to me. Not being there in summer was one thing. But now i'm thinking how everyone is in school right now...and I'm not. I've never been so upset about not being in school. I feel like I'm missing something....everything. Last night I was lieing in bed thinking about all the little things that happened in school, and just period, in Andrews. I'll miss all of those things, I won't be there to experience them or be part of them. I'll get to see the people every once in a while, they can tell me about everything they do, the funny things that happen. But now they'll just be stories to me.... nothing else.... I don't want them to just be stories, I want to be there to experience these stories and be part of them. I guess now I'll have my own experiences and stories to tell them. But my stories will be of other people that they won't even know, and it'll just be awkward. It's actually over now, and I realize that. I have a completly different life now. I don't know what it'll be like, it could be really cool and interesting. But leaving my other life behind sucks. Always wondereing what they're doing right now, what they'll be doing tonight, and what I would be doing if I was there with them. I whined and complained about school everyday last year. Now I would give anything to be there now. I remember last year, after I knew I was moving, that I was walking down the hall thinkin "Man, in a little while, I'll wish I could do this again." but it seemed so far away....but it wasn't far enough away.

uh huh.....Jalesa, Natasha, and Andrew just left. We watched the first half of Fight Club before the girls had to leave. Andrew, Jared and I watched it last night. Somehow watching that movie multiple times it doesn't get old, you always catch new stuff. Yeah Jalesa is in town for this weekend, ironicly i'm leaving tomorrow. I got to hang out with her a little bit today. I probly won't get to see her tomorrow, that sucks some big ones. haha i'm going to mexico in like a day. That is silly. It'll be cool though. Kara and I will have some fun. You know what is even more silly? I'm gonna be 16 in less than a week. Yeah, and I havn't really been looking forward to it as much as I should. I mean, 16 years isn't much of your life. It's a very short part of it, the rest of your life you can drive, so to me its not that big a deal. It will be extremly convienent though, don't get me wrong. It feels kinda weird with Jalesa in town this weekend. Its kind of like shes actually living here. I mean I had to call her, pick her up, and take her home at a certain time , like i would be doing in Andrews. I guess it's just weird cause the only other times shes been in Lubbock with me, shes stayed with me. I am really gald to see her again. Well I'm out for now.

yeah... armor for sleep i super. I agree with them."nothing's real somehow" for some reason lately nothing does seem real. Its like i've been having one big long dream all the time. I wake and everything is that same for a few days. Then i wake up and go to arkansa for a while, that seemed real. Then when i got home, its like i fell back asleep and started dreaming again. I don't know whats going. I find myself doing interesting things lately. I cleaned my room today without being told. Yeah i know, i'm a messy guy. And just really some weird stuff I wouldn't usually do. I get mad all the time, for no reason i guess, I just keep wanting to punch a hole in the wall. I guess it's just hard for me to leave everything that ever meant anything to me. I'm tired of being all depressing, but i can't help it. I do things with my friends here and i enjoy myself, I forget about everything else. But as soon as i get home or they leave, its like I fall back into my little hole.

Been a while sense i've done this, I've been in Heber Springs Arkanasa. Yeah, I'd never heard of it either. Not much to do there when you're on a mission trip. The people there were some rich little boogers. Even though i feel like we didn't help people out that much it was freaking fun as all hell. I'd have to say one of the best parts was meeting our new friend Duff. The U.S.S. Duff this time. Oh, for anyone who doesn't know who Duff is, it was our freindsly loveable green golf cart. But this Duff was almost as cool. It was a huge block of stYrofoam. Yeah this place was on a really big lake. We see Duff just sitting there minding his own business, so me Christian, Roberts, and John decide to take him on his maiden voyage. About 500 yards or so to an island. We had 1 little oar, but it wasn't much help, so we had to take turns pushing it, catching it, and then pushing it again. It was the freaking funniest thing evere, I guess you just had to be there. Oh yeah we also put poured gas on it the night before. Napalm is some fun jazz. Staying with people you don't know can be interesting. I'll just leave that at that. Being with all my Andrewsian buddies made me forget that I didn't actually live there anymore. I just got home and I already miss all them. I'll remember that trip for quite a while. Me and Jalesa a good little talk for about 3 hours or so, it was fun stuff. I think she really helped me out a whole lot that night. I'll just try not to think about stuff so much. good bye

Well...I just woke up and still I have nothing to do. I wasn't even that tired this morning but for some reason I didn't want to get up, I just really didn't have any reason to. For some reason as of this last year or so I can't find any real good reason to do....anything. Nothing really makes me feel happy for very long. The only enjoyment I get out of anything is spending time with friends and loved ones. Thats the only thing I can figure that life is even for. Just spending time with the people you care for, and helping them when their having harder times. I don't like school. I go to school so I can make good enough grades to get into some college. In college I'll get a degree or something. Probly get a job that I don't even like and I'll be doing it my whole life, for what purpose. I just think its all pretty ridiculous. I don't even know what I'm trying to say by all this, but sometimes its better to just say the stuff you've been thinking for so long, even though most people probly won't care really.

I need something to do. As long as I'm out with some friends or doing something I'm alright. But when I have days like today, when I sit around and do nothing, I can get pretty pathetic. I woke up at 12, did nothing, checked my e-mail, ate some corn dogs, played super nintendo for a couple hours, took a shower at 3, and now I'm doing this. This is stupid. Lookis like I'll be entering stuff in this more than i though I would.

I leave with my old church to go to Arkansas for a mission trip on Sunday. It'll be fun. Not quite the same as a 2 week trip to Chicago, but better than sitting here doing nothing. I heard from Cody today that all we are doing is yard work. That kind of disapoints me. I liked working at the Salvation Army, taking food to the people that needed it and stuff. Playing football with those little kids is something I won't ever forget. They were the freaking coolest kids ever.

I have basketball tournement this weekend. Jalesa might get come and stay with us for it. That would be awesome. I think its only been about a week sense I've seen her, but it seems longer, it always does.

I get my license in less than a month. That will be very convient. In Andrews asking for a ride wasn't that big a deal, cause it would take 5-10 minutes top to get somewhere. Here its a big hassel. Plus Zack had to be a jerk and reck his car. So that will be very nice.

Man freakin Christian and John and all them got to go to the Warped Tour without me. That would have been like the best trip of my life. I've never been to any real good concerts. Only a bunch of Christian ones. Not that thats bad, I mean the Dogwood concert was pretty sweet and East West. But a lot of my favorite bands don't ever come around here. And even when they did come fairly close my mom wouldn't let me go. Maybe I can go next year....hopefully

Yeah it's like 2 in the morning and I'm really tired/bored. But for some reason I probly won't go to sleep for a while. Andrew is staying the night and we're play Super Mario Bros. 3. Its a pretty fun game. Andrew really sucks at it. We're in would 3 and hes only beaten 1 level, I had to do the rest. Well i'm leaving bye.

Well okay, i don't really know how this crap works so i'll probly just do some pretty basic stuff. I'm about to have to go back to church in an hour or so. I don't want to at all. Its not that i mind going to church at all I just don't particularly like my new church. There are a few cool people, but I just don't enjoy it very much. The majority is a bunch of old people, not that thats bad there just aren't a lot of kids. I really miss going to Means. Not to mention it didn't take me like 20 minutes to get there from my house like it does now. Actually I'm not sure its the church, I just miss everyone that went there. Heck I just miss everything in Andrews period. I don't exactly know why but I find the small town atmosphere much better than this. Yeah I can go to the movies or mall without a hassel, but I don't really care about that. And thats about the only advantage to living in a bigger town. It just feels like I'm away on vacation and i'm going to get to go back home soon. But this vacation is getting longer and longer. I think about 2 days ago is when it actually hit me that i'm never going back to stay. No more going to Taco Villa for no reason even though we really don't want to. No more walking around the duck pond or the golf course just because we have nothing better to do. No more getting chased by some weird mexican dude because John was cussing at him on Broadway. Its rather depressing. I'm sure the longer I'm here the more i'll learn to have fun just in different things, but i don't think i'll ever stop wondering what i would be doing right now if i was in Andrews. Maybe climbing on a building just for the sake of saying "Hey, I was on top of that building the other night." And i don't even want to get started on this long distance relationship. This just sucks balls. Sometimes i want to just say this is stupid and we should brake it off. But theres no way i could do that. I've only known this girl for like 2 years, been dating her for like 8 months or so, and theres just something about her. I can't just throw it away even is this is really hard. All of my freinds say I am "whipped" but i think they mistake the term for me actually really liking this girl and wanting to be with her. Its not like i don't do stuff with my freinds, i do all the time. But I do spend a whole lot of time with Jalesa whenever i get the chance. If that makes me whipped than i don't really care. Well i guess i'm gonna stop rambling now, this is alot longer than i intended it to be. bye

Hello, this is Ryan, and i'm really bored. No one will probly ever even read this. Plus I most likely wont be consistent in entereing anything. so i'll just do this for my own amusment whenever I get patheticly bored, which happens quite often actually. So maybe I will post more often think.